


L'appel Du Vide

by breathedeep222



Category: The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Introspection, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Past Relationship(s), resolutions, somewhere between season 2 and 3, very slight but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 03:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21154673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathedeep222/pseuds/breathedeep222
Summary: Richard knows something horrible is going to happen, and he has some unfinished business to address before it does.( Basically Tannis and Strand used to date waayyyy back when and when Strand's life really goes off the deep end he feels like finally making amends.)





	L'appel Du Vide

Richard knew something was coming. He hated thinking that. Thinking in such unmeasurable terms. He picked up the water the bartender had left him. "Something." "Coming." What? When? He didn't have answers. All he knew was "something bad" and "soon." 

The other reason he didn't like thinking that was it led to more thinking, more thoughts. Thoughts about what he'd leave behind. Undone. Unsaid. How people would feel about him. He's been thinking a lot about regrets of his. Unresolved chapters of his life. Richard never liked having things unresolved, contrary to what other people may think. If they were impossible to resolve practically then he felt people had to accept that fact. But what he was dealing with wasn't impossible. For now. So he had to take the chance while he still could. 

Alex was first, of course. Richard felt the uncontrollable lifting of his mouth as he fiddled with the napkin slowly absorbing the condensation from his glass. That resolution certainly had the most enjoyable conclusion. He chose her first because after everything they've been through he felt she earned it. And also Charlie wasn't answering his calls. 

He was still working on Charlie. But in the meantime, he made some amends with Ruby and Jenna and Mel. That was a little harder because he hadn't done one specific thing. It was moreso he knew he never acknowledged how important their support had been over the years. Then Cheryl, in a way. He couldn't resolve anything with Coralee considering the current...situation. Which, pathetically, left him with no one else in his life he had to clear things up with. Or so he told himself for a solid month, but any time he would get a moment to himself, a moment without the churning of his brain through the terrible truths that kept unfolding around him, one name kept popping into his mind. Eventually, Richard felt he had to deal with it or lose his mind more than he already had. 

That was how he found himself at this quiet, low-key neighborhood bar on a Wednesday night.

"I have to admit, I didn't think you'd show." 

The man eased himself onto the stool and waved the bartender over. Richard looked up to face him. Tannis Braun. 

"Is that why you're late?" Richard joked. He couldn't blame Tannis for doubting him. If anyone wasn't going to show it was him. Tannis would never stand somebody up.

"Dark and stormy please." The bartender nodded and went to make the drink, and Richard snorted.

Tannis shot him a glance, face serious but eyes sparkling and playful. "What? You didn't even have the decency to order me a drink so you don't get to judge what I order." 

"I would have but they didn't have any _Boingo Stouts_ on the menu."

Tannis laughed. Loud and clear and sudden. It was clear he was surprised. "Listen, those were the best three dollar beers around, alright? They tasted fine."

Richard snorted and took a sip of his water. "I'm pretty sure they were made with sewer water." Even thinking about the cheap beer Tannis used to order made him want to shudder. He could still remember the revolting taste and he never once took a sip of the slop.

"Everyone's a critic," Tannis replied easily. He jerked his head towards Richard's water glass. "You're not partaking?"

"I was waiting for you."

The bartender came back with Tannis's drink. "Well, I'm here now. Jack and coke for my friend here. Something high end and pretentious."

Richard chuckled and the bartender nodded and walked away, clearly unimpressed by their antics.

Tannis looked at him and Richard resisted the urge to shrink. He shifted on his stool and felt his arm brush the other man's and it occurred to him this is the closest he's been to Tannis in decades. It was strange how life turned out. 

"This really isn't work-related? You don't have a recorder on you ready to return to Alex with some kind of info you need from me?"

"No". Tannis kept looking at him. "Really, no. I didn't call you for any of that I...I wanted to talk."

"Okay."

Richard always hated that. Tannis's unflappable ease. His ability to roll with the punches, take people as they were. Take Richard as he was. He wondered if they were doomed from the start. If he was always meant to push Tannis and pick fights until even his seemingly unending patience and understanding were strained. Until they were snapping at each other, yelling, hitting, throwing. Tannis did always love a challenge. 

"Man," Tannis said after a minute. "I haven't thought about those beers in ages. Do you think they still make them?"

"I'd pay to see you find a _Boingo Stout_ now."

"Hmm," Tannis smirked. "A million dollars?"

It was Richard's turn to be surprised. He laughed, hard. Hard enough he was still laughing when the bartender plopped his drink and a bowl of popcorn in front of them and left. His diaphragm felt sore after. Unused.

"Yes. If you find a Boingo Stout you'll get the million dollars. That is a much more impressive task than proving the paranormal exists."

Tannis turned towards him, leaning one arm on the bar, the other swinging freely by his side. He winked. "I should get two million since I can do both. Does Alex know you're here?" 

Richard had almost forgotten what talking to Tannis was like. The real one, not the perfectly charming, perfectly sociable one that worked with cops and comforted distraught families and graced televisions. Tannis was always able to mask his difference in a way he couldn't. But he knew behind the easy-going, calm exterior was a brain constantly running a mile a minute, flitting from one connection to the next. Tannis was always thinking. A good detective had to be.

"Yes. Why?"

"You told her we didn't know each other." 

"So did you."

"Have you told her the truth since?"

He knew Tannis wasn't going to respond to that. Of course Tannis told her they never met. That was how Richard wanted it. Many things had changed over the years, but his need for privacy and work/life separation had not. Even when he hated Tannis, he could trust him.

"Not exactly." A raised eyebrow. A sigh. "I did tell her we knew each other, but I didn't give her the details." 

It did occur to him that it might be considered clandestine, withholding that from her and going out tonight. At this new stage in their relationship, they couldn't continue to keep secrets. But Richard planned on telling. After tonight. He knew she'd understand why he had to wait after he told her everything.

Tannis nodded. "Alright." He wasn't going to pry. Once upon a time he would have, but that time was far behind them. 

They carried on like that. Chatting, bantering, bringing up old memories with all the care of a historian holding an old book. He could feel the gloves, the way they carefully turned the delicate pages, only lingering on the ones that were as neutral as possible. Richard knew he came here for a reason, that he had to apologize. Later, he kept thinking. Later.

It wasn't until later, when their bill was paid and Tannis insisted he didn't need more water, just fresh air, that Richard realized he forgot. Conveniently. 

They were standing on a corner waiting for the car Tannis ordered to get back to his hotel. The bar was close enough Richard would walk. He was leaning against the streetlamp with his arms crossed. It felt nice, normal. A feeling he hasn't felt in such a long time he almost didn't recognize it. 

"I had fun." Tannis was standing in front of him, his cut jaw and flushed cheeks illuminated by the streetlight. 

"You sound surprised." Richard knew he was running out of time. He needed to say it.

Tannis's forehead lines sprang up when he smiled. "I meant it when I said I expected you not to show. When you called me and said you wanted to meet not in a professional capacity I was...skeptical."

"And yet you came anyway."

"You know me. I love to see the impossible."

Richard used to envy that. The way Tannis could accept his flaws so easily. Admit any silliness in his thinking, embrace it even. Now was later.

"I..." Tannis was looking at him so intently, just waiting, that he almost couldn't say it. The pressure to say something was making it so he could say nothing. "I'm...sorry. I'm sorry."

It was a pathetic apology, even by his standards. He was meant to be setting things right, not giving vague open-ended apologies that could be referring to anything. Sorry I made fun of your drink choice. Sorry I tried to pit Alex against you. Sorry for that time fifteen years ago when I told that reporter I didn't realize was a reporter that you were a charming fool charming fools.

Despite his vague nonsense, he was looking at eyes filled with nothing but understanding. He had to look away.

"Is that why you asked me to come here? To apologize? Oh Richard."

His head popped up when he realized he hadn't heard Tannis say his name all night. 

"You don't have to apologize. It's behind us. We were both...young."

"Still," Richard insisted. "The way it ended I didn't...we should have...you deserved better than that."

Tannis's face fell, forehead lines and wrinkles tilting down until it looked like his whole face was frowning. "Richard," he said softly, carefully. They were handling the most delicate pages now. Tannis lifted a hand and cupped his face. "I can still feel you, you know."

Richard didn't need to ask what he meant. He remembered the first time Tannis told him that, how he explained it. Sometimes Tannis could feel what others felt. Not like empathy, but like an empath. He remembers thinking it made sense for Tannis to add that trick to his arsenal. Of course someone with a talent for observation so strong he could "predict the future" could read people's emotions. That's what he thought until Tannis quietly told him he doesn't tell people about it anymore.

_"YOU don't tell people you can read their emotions?"_

_"No, it tends to freak them out. People like psychics, no one likes having their mind read." _

Luckily Richard didn't scare easily. That was so long ago. They were so young, so naive. Even if he didn't believe Tannis could feel his emotions through some magical ability, he liked knowing someone would look at him carefully enough to figure them out.

A gentle thumb brushed against his jaw. "You feel so sad. I can feel it sucking me in, swallowing me. It's like I can't breathe."

He thought Tannis had a lot of nerve saying that when his own breaths were only coming in stunted barely-there inhales.

"What's wrong Richard? What's happening?"

He shook his head. Enough people had gotten caught up in his life. Tannis was the one who got free, it had to stay that way. 

Tannis's fingers touched along his cheekbone, searching as if looking for an answer between their skin.

"I'm sorry," the other man whispered. Another hand cupped Richard's cheek and those worried eyes were much closer. "I tried."

"You did." They both did. Two stubborn young men convinced they could overcome anything. Beat any odds.

"It's going to be okay." Still stubborn. Tannis moved his thumbs under Richard's chin and guided him forward, pressing a wistful kiss on his lips. He knew that if Tannis had the power to absorb people's pain he would use it in a heartbeat.

Soon, they were staring at each other again and this time the thumb was on Richard's static-filled lips.

"Be safe Richard. Be happy."

His hand dropped away and Tannis turned to the car Richard only just noticed. Tannis paused with the back door open. "Thank you. I had a nice time. Goodnight." He got in the car and it drove off. Richard stood there until reached the end of the block and turned out of sight.

"Goodbye."

**Author's Note:**

> Hahaha idk why I needed to write this so bad but here we are!


End file.
